aerial telly: the tv panopticonYou 'people' make me sick

Over 300 Reviews. Including: The Apprentice, Veronica Mars, Prison Break, Deadwood, My Name Is Earl, 24, Heroes and Lost. Updated Wednesdays and Fridays. You "people" make me sick.

INFO

Home

About Aerial Telly

Aerial Telly in The Guardian

Love List

The noble truths of Aerial Telly

Turn-off TV Week

Review Index

Mailbag

 

TV REVIEWS

10 Years Younger

24: Season 4

24: Season 5

24 Season 5 finale

24: Season 6

30 Rock

Abi Titmuss

Aerial Telly Awards 2005

Aerial Telly Awards 2006

Aerial Telly Awards 2007

Aerial Telly search queries

Aerial Telly search queries 2

Aerial Telly search queries 3

Aerial Comment

Alive: Back To The Andes

Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show

Anti-Social Old Buggers

The Apprentice

The Apprentice Series Three Final

The Apprentice Series 3 half-term report

The Armstrongs

Ashes to Ashes

Balderdash And Piffle

Battered Men: Hidden Lives

Battlestar Galactica Season 3

Battlestar Galactica Season 3 finale

Beauty And The Geek

Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave

Bernard Matthews Golden Moments

Big Brother 2005

Big Brother 2006 Launch Night

Big Brother 2007

Big Brother 2007: Get that loudmouth chickenhead hoodrat cunt out

Big Brother's Big Mouth

Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism

Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism

Bionic Woman pre-air pilot

Bo! in the USA

Bodies

Bodies series finale

Body Shock: Half Ton Man

Bollocks To Cancer

The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence

Bremner, Bird and Fortune

Bring Back...Grange Hill

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

Buffy the Career Slayer?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Californication

Carnivale

Catherine Tate Christmas Special

CBeebies website

Celebrity Big Brother

Celebrity Big Brother 2006

Celebrity Big Brother 2007

Celebrity Fit Club

Celebrity Love Island

The Charlotte Church Show

China

Christmas television review 2006

Comic Relief Does The Apprentice

Compulsion

The Contender

The Contender Season Two

Cutting Edge: My Kid's Psychic

Cutting Edge: Pram Face

The Dark Side Of Porn

The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn

Dead Ringers

Deadwood

Deadwood - a lament

Deadwood Season 3

Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns

Derren Brown: The Heist

Derren Brown's Russian Roulette

Derren Brown - Trick Or Treat

Dexter Season One

Dexter Season Two...

Dispatches: The Big Heist

Doctor Who

Dragons Den

Drive

EastEnders

Election 2005 coverage

Emily Parr - an apology

Escape to the Legion

Everybody Hates Chris

Extraordinary People - The Girl Who Makes Miracles

Extras

Extras Christmas special

Fat Beauty Contest

Feel The Force

Firefly - The Complete Series

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

Fonejacker

Friday Night Project

Going Cold Turkey

Guys And Dolls

Heroes

Heroes Season One Finale

Hidden Lives - Three In A Bed

House

HSBC adverts

I'm All Shook Up: Parkinson's at 25

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, 2006

Inside Waco

It's Me Or The Dog

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

Keys To The Vip update - Aerial Telly bringing "people" together

King Of Shaves advert

Life on Mars

Life

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season Three Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Mary Archer

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Party Animals

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

The Pick-up Artist

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Pulling

Dexter Season One

Dexter Season One

Showtime

Every hero needs a flaw. In the case of Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall) it's being a serial killer. Although, that's not so much his flaw as what makes him a hero. Welcome to the world of Dexter, Showtime's startling interpretation of Jeff Lindsay's Darkly Dreaming Dexter novel. On the face of it, a regular guy working in forensics at the Miami-Dade Police Department, specialising in blood spatter analysis, Dexter hides a grim secret from those close to him. He has a talent for murder - not the assassin's talent or the slasher's artful bloodlust but rather an addiction to the systemic elimination of bad elements from society. Because Dexter does not murder the innocent - he only kills bad guys. That's my idea of a hero.

"Just like a true hero, Dexter must Clark Kent his way through the world unacknowledged."

And just like a true hero, Dexter must Clark Kent his way through the world unacknowledged. The product of a troubled childhood, Dexter's foster father Harry Morgan took the infant Dexter under his care after finding him at the scene of the horrific butchering of his mother. Harry Morgan was a respected cop with good instincts. So when he discovered that Dexter had a "little something missing" psychologically (killing and dissecting the neighbour's dog was a clue) he knows what needs to be done. To stop the boy from going down a road that ends in lethal injection or electric chair, Harry teaches him to use his inclinations for good, tracking down and killing the monsters who slip through the system's fingers. It's like Death Wish meets Quincy.

"He works with his policewoman sister Debra, a foul-mouthed feisty bag of bones with poor taste in haircuts and worse taste in men."

Drunken hit-and-run drivers, black widows, serial killers - all of them meet their end at Dexter's slice-and-dice emporium of pain. He keeps a sample of their blood on a slide as, like many serial killers, he likes to keep momentos of his victims. And the Miami underworld keeps him supplied with plenty of sick fucks who'd be better off dead for his hobby and plenty of gruesome blood spattered rooms for his professional life. Dexter is liked and respected at work though it has its complications. He works with his policewoman sister Debra (Jennifer Carpenter), a foul-mouthed feisty bag of bones with poor taste in haircuts and worse taste in men. Then there's Sergeant Doakes, the no-nonsense head cracker of the precinct who is the only one in the Department who senses something is wrong with Dexter. He's not afraid to say it out loud either though everyone dismisses it as a clash of personalities (hands up who has suspected a co-worker of being a serial killer?)

"As alone as any one man in this world can be, Dexter knows that, with foster father Harry long since dead, Ice Truck is the only one alive who understands him."

Season's one is main focus is the pursuit of the Ice Truck Killer - a serial killer with a devilish ingenuity to his kills who appears to know Dexter intimately. As each of his murders send an enigmatic message to Dexter showing knowledge of his past, Dexter becomes increasingly obsessed with finding him. His relationship with Ice Truck Killer is almost erotic. As a corpse bearing some of ITK's trademarked turns up he wonders "Dramatic, cryptic, playful. Could it be him...?". As alone as any one man in this world can be, Dexter knows that, with foster father Harry long since dead, Ice Truck is the only one alive who understands him.

"Voice-over can be a graveyard for clunky exposition but Dexter's bleak insights into himself and the story are always relevant and often witty."

And you're constantly left wondering if he wants to discover him to stop him or to simply be understood. For Dexter is an emotionally dissociated individual. He starts a relationship with Rita (Julie Benz), a damaged domestic abuse victim, because she has as many intimacy issues as he. He can act like a normal human but he's under no illusion about what he is - repeatedly referring to himself in the voice-over as a monster. Voice-over can be a graveyard for clunky exposition but not in this case - Dexter's bleak insights into himself and the story are always relevant and often witty.

Dexter is one of those dark, intelligent shows you get from time to time that make you feel better about life by showing you bad things. It's tricky to bring a literary sociopath to life but Michael C. Hall does a great job of portraying Dexter's stunted emotional life and pathological need for control while still retaining an air of the guy you wouldn't mind having as a neighbour. For his powers must only be used for good. The psychological cat-and-mouse with Ice Truck Killer is enthralling and while it sometimes slips into familiar serial-killer drama territory it's a genuinely fresh take on the forensic thriller raising any number of complex moral dilemmas. Are we happy with the serial killer as boy-next-door? And will we ever see those meat knives we lent him again?

The best thing about it: The dark humour

The worst thing about it: Bit too much blood for my liking

The verdict on Dexter Season One: Killing shouldn't be this much fun.

Marks out of 10: 8

Contact Aerial Telly


UKNova - We supply the latest stuff! The UK's premier TV download site

AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO LIFE

2007: your relationshit is going nowhere

2008 - Napoleon Boneypie finally faces her Waterloo.

50 ways to grieve your lover

Aerial Telly - Black Irish bastard with the heart of a warrior and the soul of a poet

Aerial Telly - high functioning sociopath with narcissistic tendencies

Aerial Telly is not saying he had sex with Kate McCann but...

Aerial Telly loves Joni Mitchell but Little Green is not a deeply moving account of a mother's love for her child. It is an account of how Joni Mitchell gave up her child for money, fame and cock

Aerial Telly will not be sexing Doctor Kate McCann

Amy, for the love of God eat some chips you loopy cunt

Apology for slavery

The big veiny cock arms of love are strangling Brad Pitt

Get stuffed you creeps - Aerial Telly is the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it

Handsome, talented and a sensational lay - but life is not all roses for Aerial Telly

Happy Christmas cock smokers

Having trouble with your long-turd relationshit? Relax, it's not just you.

It was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks

Kate McCann requests Aerial Telly phone number.

Ladies - time to ditch the borefriend and get with a real man

Let's get this straight - they drugged her, killed her, sat on her body for three weeks then dumped her in the ocean? Fuck you, Johnny Incompetentos...

Mea culpa - you a cunta

"Meet the parents" or "destroy what is left of her shattered self-esteem"

Never forgive, never forget, never for fun

Never mind that the case against them stinks like a hogwhore's cunt - just keep bullying the parents

No, Foxy Knoxy - Aerial Telly will not be representing your interests

She came again today

So, the girl you love has got a ginger borefriend

Stop your nonsense, ladies...Aerial Telly is single, sane and straight

Sympathy For The Devil

Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?

You're the only Aerial Telly reader whose girlfriend is safe from him

Your breath smells like a thousand miles of shit.

 

AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO BETTING

200,000 undersexed schlubs have the weekend of their lives after following Aerial Telly's betting advice

Aerial Telly's bookie - rest in peace, loser

Aerial Telly shows a hell of a lot of class by not celebrating yet another night of betting glory

Aerial Telly wins crushing victory against forces of darkness - bookmaker on suicide watch

Big Brother betting. Brian at 1.83 - have you freaks lost your minds?

Joe Calzaghe is going to beat Mikkel Kessler

Listen up, fuckwads - Floyd Mayweather to beat Oscar De La Hoya on points at anything over 8/11 is the bet of the year

O'Neill at 4.5? Lay that motherfucker with everything you've got

OK, you Appalachian pissdrinkers get this - Winky Wright to beat Bernard Hopkins at evens is a phenomenal bet, the type that comes around once a century

Ricky Fatton CAN beat Floyd Mayweather. But the value is Ugly Boy Floyd at 1.57

Scandinavian betting giant's eyes water as they take a balls deep ass fucking from Aerial Telly

Yes, Aerial Telly puts his money where his miggedy mouth is

You'd have to be a total kiddy fiddler not to back Ricky Hatton against Jose Luis Castillo when Bet Direct are offering 1.62

 

TV REVIEWS (cont'd)

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rome Season One

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

Skins

Smoking Room

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Studs of Suburbia

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

The Thick Of It

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Too Ugly For Love

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

Unanimous

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere

Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

When Lineker Met Maradona

Wimbledon coverage

The Wire

The Wire, Season 4

The Wire Season 5 Premiere

World Cup coverage

World's Deadliest Gangs

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

Zoo Magazine adverts

 

FILM REVIEWS

28 Weeks Later

American Gangster

Apocalypto

Atonement

The Bourne Ultimatum

Control

Dawn Of The Dead

The Departed

The Descent

Fahrenheit 9/11

Hard Candy

Lust, Caution

Notes On A Scandal

Once

Open Water

Pan's Labyrinth

Rocky Balboa

Saw

Super Size Me

United 93

When the Levees Broke

 

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

Amazon Review Scum

Aerial Telly forever - Birmingham arts scene scum never

Blowjob monologues and the like

Ellen MacArthur

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Paralympics

Playlouder Reviews

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite