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7 Days on the Breadline

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Big Brother 2008 - It's a Wonderful Life (when you're not in it

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Big Brother 2010 final

Big Brother's Big Mouth

Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism

Big Brother got no gas, Sienna Miller got no ass, Mark Ronson got no class

Big Brother poetry

Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism

Bionic Woman pre-air pilot

Bo! in the USA

Bodies

Bodies series finale

Body Shock: Half Ton Man

Bollocks To Cancer

Bonekickers

The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence

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Breaking Bad Season 2 finale

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Bring Back...Grange Hill

Britain's Got Talent Series 4

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic

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Bully Beatdown

C-D

Californication

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Damages

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In This Corner

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The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret

Inside Waco

REVIEWS | A-B | C-D | E-I | J-M | N-R | S-T | U-Z | MISC


Compulsion

BBC2

In a nutshell: Cameras following losers losing.

The 411: Perhaps in the hope that somebody will unconsciously associate their dreary output with compulsive viewing, BBC2 are running a series of programmes about people's addictions.

Addiction is difficult to pin down. What's the difference between addiction and simply wanting something a lot? What does it actually mean to be addicted?

"Habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control" if you follow the medical definition. But is it becoming a catch-all phrase for people who have destructive behaviours but don't want to take responsibility for them?

"Jonny looks like a Coldplay member who was kicked out of the band for being too wussy."

This week, Compulsion followed Jonny Walker - a more-or-less likeable sappy 23 year-old with a drug, drinking and gambling problem. Jonny looks like a Coldplay member who was kicked out of the band for being too wussy. He smokes like a student with that hard-done-by world-weary air you often find in suburban Indiescum.

His father is an Anglican clergyman and an unbelievable turd - reacting with horribly inappropriate jolliness while his son breaks down in tears in front of him. He has that unerring clergyman's knack of saying and doing the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time - generously garnished with fatuous proverbs about journeys of a thousand miles starting with one step and the like

As his drinking and gambling escalates, Jonny resorts to overdoses to get his parents' attention. A couple of blister strips at first, culminating in a 150 paracetamol effort. You half expect the Reverend Father to turn up with "the journey of a thousand paracetamol starts with one pill". It doesn't take an addict to work out that this particular form of gambling only has one outcome.

Earlier in the series there was Jan, a 54 year-old grandmother and gambling addict. Up on 27 counts of theft, all from her friend Queenie, an 89-year-old woman in her care, Jan was a very difficult woman to like. Refusing her lawyer's advice to plead guilty to stealing saying "I did do it in reality, but in my heart I was going to pay it back".

"I bet that's some consolation to Queenie, half insane and living la vida broker after being fucked over by someone she trusted."

I bet that's some consolation to Queenie, half insane and living la vida broker after being fucked over by someone she trusted. Like a lot of addicts, Jan can only see the world in terms of how it affects her. She is devastated by the lies people have told Queenie about her - lies like "that insane gambler stole your life savings and stuck it in fruit machines" which is only a lie in the sense that it is completely and undeniably true.

It has made for uncomfortable viewing at times as you swing between sympathy and contempt for the subjects of the films. This will come as no surpise to the addicts who have been eliciting both those reactions their entire lives, embroiled as they are in their avoidance behaviour and self-hatred. They make reality TV contestants look positively happy, together individuals in comparison.

The best thing about it: The meaningless turd jousts between addict and care worker.

The worst thing about it: Daddy dearest walking around with a face like a stuffed snatch.

The verdict on Compulsion : Habit-forming television.

Marks out of 10: 7

 


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REVIEWS (cont'd)

J-M

Jericho

John From Cincinnati

Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem

Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be the greatest television show in history

Journeyman

jPod

Keys To The Vip

The Kill Point

Kings

King Of Shaves advert

Life

The Life and Times of Tim

Life on Mars

Lip Service

Live From Studio Five

Louie

Louis Theroux - The City Addicted to Crystal Meth

Loose Women

Lost

Lost Season 2

Lost Season 3 Finale

Lost Season 3: half-term report

Lost Season 3 Premiere

Lost Season 4 Half Term report

Lost Season 6 Premiere

Lost Season 6x09 - Ab Aeterno

Lost Series Finale

Luther

Luther Series One finale

Mad Men

Mad Men Season 2

Mad Men Season 2 Finale

Mad Men Season 3 Premiere

Mad Men Season 3 Finale

Mad Men Season 4

The Madness of Boy George

Mars Believe World Cup Campaign

Man vs Wild

Martina Cole's The Take

Mary Archer

The Mentalist

Mercy Series Premiere

Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs

Misfits

The Mitchell Brothers' Return

Mock the Week

Modern Family

Mongrels

Monkey Dust

Morales v Barrera III

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

My Family

My Name Is Earl

My Penis And I

My Supermodel Baby

 

N-R

Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts

Nigella

Neighbours 20th anniversary show

No Angels

No Heroics

Old Enough To Be His Mother

Oscars 2005

Only Yesterday - The Carpenters' Story

Pacific

Paradox

Party Animals

Party Down

The Persuasionists

Peaches Geldof: Teen America

Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares

The Peter Serafinowicz Show

PhoneShop

The Pick-up Artist

The Pickup Artist Season 2 Premiere

Pineapple Dance Studios

Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

Prison Break

Prison Break 2

Prison Break Season Two: half-term report

Prison Break Season Two Premiere

Prison Break Season Two Finale

Prison Break Season 4 Half Term Report

Pulling

Pulse

Pushing Daisies series premiere...

Richard and Judy

Rev

Rome Season One

S-T

Saxondale

The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive

The Secret Policemen's Ball

Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter

Sex Addict

Seymour Butts

Shameless

Shameless Season 4

Shane

Sherlock

Sherlock series 1 finale: The Great Game

The Shield

The Shield - Season Five Finale

The Shield - Season 6

The Shield series finale

Six Feet Under

Skins

Skins Season 2

Smoking Room

Sons of Anarchy

Sons of Anarchy Season 2 Premiere

The Sopranos Season 6

Space Cadets

Spartacus: Blood and Sand

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Season One Finale

The Spy Who Stole My Life

State of the TV Nation Address

Stepkids In Love

Strike Back

Studs of Suburbia

Summer Heights High

Supernanny

Surviving Disaster

Take That... for the Record

Talk to me

Take Me Out

Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer

Terminator - The Sarah Connor Chronicles

The Thick Of It

The Thick of It Series 3

This Life +10

This World: Kidnap Cops

Top 30 TV Shows of 2010

Tower Block of Commons

Treme

True Stories - The Trials Of Amanda Knox

Too Ugly For Love

True Blood

True Blood Season 2 Final

TV's Naughtiest Blunders

U-Z

Unanimous

Underbelly

Undercover Princesses

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report

Veronica Mars Season Two

Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere

Veronica Mars Season Three finale

A Very Social Secretary

Vexed

Weeds

Weeds Season 3

Weeds Season 4

Weeds Season 5 Finale

Weeds Season 5 Premiere

When Fearne Met Peaches

When Lineker Met Maradona

Wimbledon coverage

The Wire Season 3

The Wire, Season 4

The Wire Season 5 Premiere

The Wire Series Finale

World Cup coverage

World Cup Final 2010

The World Cup has been kidnapped and molested

World's Deadliest Gangs

Worried About the Boy

X Factor 2005

X-Factor 2007

X-Factor 2008

X-Factor 2009

MISC REVIEWS

40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying

606 with Danny Baker

Amazon Review Scum

Blowjob monologues and the like

Everything is retro, funky and kitsch on eBay nowadays

Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir

An Illustrated History of Dis

Fooled By Randomness

Hip-hop

Indie kids - munching on cock all day, every day, from now until forever

Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite

Love skunk Vernon Kay sprays his rat jism

Morales v Barrera III

Music Sounds Better With You(tube)

NME cool list

Playlouder Reviews

Roid Jones jnr? You must be joking, Joke

Stan Collymore

The Streets

Vertigolf

War Winehouse!

We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite