On his last day on earth murdering sociopath and patriot Andy King is fortunate to spend time with the people who matter most to him. He stops off at The Pakistan embassy to chat with his pals the Maliks about their mutual friend Niko Gaelle and then he’s off to touch base with Hani. He’d quite like the info on the Physanto files and the knife she sticks in his guts isn’t going to stop him. Persistent fuck this one.
He holds her head under water in the pool to persuade her parents to blab but it turns out no one knows a damn thing. As they are all tied up awaiting their certain deaths Pops says to Hani “It was you who started this Internet shit – the computers” and he’s bloody spot on. To make amends Hani tells Andy she can get the files of Jesse because he’s such a pussy. It’s a trip in the boot for her. Hooray!
Pops says to Hani “It was you who started this Internet shit – the computers” and he’s bloody spot on.
Before he can get to Jesse Andy moons over the grave of some dead bitch and he bleeds out like a little bitch before that little bitch Niko Gaelle helps him over to the other side with a plastic bag. Andy’s dead. In a graveyard of all places. Now Niko has Hani he can exchange her for the Lego brick flash drive that he retrieves from his shit marbles light mom. But wouldn’t you know it after they hand over the goods they looking the boot and Hani’s not there at all.
She’s still in the warehouse with a bag over her head singing the Angry Birds music while wetting herself.
“Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo, boop-dee-dee-do, dee-dee-do” she trills.
It’s the anthem of a lost generation.
The verdict: Hani really is an angry bird.
Marks out of 10: 7.5