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TV REVIEWS
10 Years Younger
24: Season 4
24: Season 5
24 Season 5 finale
24: Season 6
30 Rock
Abi Titmuss
Aerial Telly Awards 2005
Aerial Telly Awards 2006
Aerial Telly Awards 2007
Aerial Telly search queries
Aerial Telly search queries 2
Aerial Telly search queries 3
Aerial Comment
Alive: Back To The Andes
Amy Winehouse on Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Amy Winehouse on the Charlotte Church show
Anti-Social Old Buggers
The Apprentice
The Apprentice Series Three Final
The Apprentice Series 3 half-term report
The Armstrongs
Ashes to Ashes
Balderdash And Piffle
Battered Men: Hidden Lives
Battlestar Galactica Season 3
Battlestar Galactica Season 3 finale
Beauty And The Geek
Bernard Manning From Beyond the Grave
Bernard Matthews Golden Moments
Big Brother 2005
Big Brother 2006 Launch Night
Big Brother 2007
Big Brother 2007: Get that loudmouth chickenhead hoodrat cunt out
Big Brother's Big Mouth
Big Brother, Emily Parr and racism
Big Brother, Shilpa Shetty and racism
Bionic Woman pre-air pilot
Bo! in the USA
Bodies
Bodies series finale
Body Shock: Half Ton Man
Bollocks To Cancer
The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence
Bremner, Bird and Fortune
Bring Back...Grange Hill
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
Buffy the Career Slayer?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Californication
Carnivale
Catherine Tate Christmas Special
CBeebies website
Celebrity Big Brother
Celebrity Big Brother 2006
Celebrity Big Brother 2007
Celebrity Fit Club
Celebrity Love Island
The Charlotte Church Show
China
Christmas television review 2006
Comic Relief Does The Apprentice
Compulsion
The Contender
The Contender Season Two
Cutting Edge: My Kid's Psychic
Cutting Edge: Pram Face
The Dark Side Of Porn
The Dark Side Of Porn: Amateur Porn
Dead Ringers
Deadwood
Deadwood - a lament
Deadwood Season 3
Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns
Derren Brown: The Heist
Derren Brown's Russian Roulette
Derren Brown - Trick Or Treat
Dexter Season One
Dexter Season Two...
Dispatches: The Big Heist
Doctor Who
Dragons Den
Drive
EastEnders
Election 2005 coverage
Emily Parr - an apology
Escape to the Legion
Everybody Hates Chris
Extraordinary People - The Girl Who Makes Miracles
Extras
Extras Christmas special
Fat Beauty Contest
Feel The Force
Firefly - The Complete Series
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
Fonejacker
Friday Night Project
Going Cold Turkey
Guys And Dolls
Heroes
Heroes Season One Finale
Hidden Lives - Three In A Bed
House
HSBC adverts
I'm All Shook Up: Parkinson's at 25
I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here
I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, 2006
Inside Waco
It's Me Or The Dog
Jericho
John From Cincinnati
Jordan and Peter: Marriage And Mayhem
Journeyman
jPod
Keys To The Vip
Keys To The Vip update - Aerial Telly bringing "people" together
King Of Shaves advert
Life on Mars
Life
Loose Women
Lost
Lost Season 2
Lost Season Three Finale
Lost Season 3: half-term report
Lost Season 3 Premiere
Mad Men
The Madness of Boy George
Mars Believe World Cup Campaign
Man vs Wild
Mary Archer
Michael Carroll: King Of Chavs
The Mitchell Brothers' Return
Monkey Dust
Morales v Barrera III
My Family
My Name Is Earl
My Penis And I
Nibble Nobby's Nuts adverts
Nigella
Neighbours 20th anniversary show
No Angels
Old Enough To Be His Mother
Oscars 2005
Party Animals
Peaches Geldof: Teen America
Pete Burns' Cosmetic Surgery Nightmares
The Peter Serafinowicz Show
The Pick-up Artist
Preston's Walk Out on Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Prison Break
Prison Break 2
Prison Break Season Two: half-term report
Prison Break Season Two Premiere
Prison Break Season Two Finale
Pulling |
Celebrity Big Brother
Channel 4
My twin loves of celebrity and television intersect at a point
of pure, infinite goodness. This is a point I call Celebrity Big Brother Bow down to the Don.
"determined to show the world she's not just a vacuous clothes horse, she's well on the way to proving she is...."
Still reeling from the giddy excitement of the first night,
here is Aerial Telly's at-a-glance guide to the contestants.
John McCririck: opinionated right-wing bigot. Wears his bigotry
on his sleeve in the hope that he will be thought of as a lovable
old curmudgeon. He will, of course, be thought of as the fat,
sweaty turd he is.
Germaine Greer: the pioneering feminist now spends her days
disagreeing with Tom Paulin on the Late Review and calling
young feminists dirty scrubbers and the like - a passion she
shares with John McCririck.
Bez: a bog-eyed fucknut who became
a walking guinea-pig for the effects of smoking 40 crack
rocks a-day for five years. The results are inconclusive.
Once opined that it was OK to kill a homosexual "if he got his fooking cock out".
The gay vote may be split.
Kenzie from Blazin Squad: horrible little turd with no redeeming
features. He speakee de street slang but is about as much from
the street as Darren Day is. Is threatening to beatbox and
kick a freestyle. At which point I will kick a broomstick up
his bony arse, pull his spinal cord through his mouth before
flogging his soggy carcass with it.
Caprice: determined to show the world she's not just a vacuous
clothes horse, she's well on the way to proving she is. Used
to date Tony Adams which suggests Bez may be in with a chance.
Brigitte Nielsen: 18 ft
tall with shoulders like a quarterback, Nielsen is possibly
the most bonkers woman who ever lived. Sexually voracious,
her asylum seeking boyfriend fits in her handbag and is thought
not to expect sexual fidelity from her.
Lisa I'Anson: living in
what PJ O'Rourke once referred to as "the lonely hell
of the formerly cute".
Once beautiful, she spoke on her preview tape of her all-conquering
sexual allure. Sorry sweetie, you're a bit porky these days
and your face is fucked. No one's really sure what you did
anyway apart from being an MTV clone back in the day.
Jeremy Edwards: famous for
being a minor actor, his career high-point came when he almost
married Rachel Stevens before
she realised there were single men with money and dumped Jeremy
to become engaged to a different billionaire every month. A
future trophy husband for Cheryl Tweedy.
Bring It On! Where there is harmony let us
bring discord. Celebrity Big Brother will own you all....
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AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
2007: your relationshit is going nowhere
2008 - Napoleon Boneypie finally faces her Waterloo.
50 ways to grieve your lover
Aerial Telly - Black Irish bastard with the heart of a warrior and the soul of a poet
Aerial Telly - high functioning sociopath with narcissistic tendencies
Aerial Telly is not saying he had sex with Kate McCann but...
Aerial Telly loves Joni Mitchell but Little Green is not a deeply moving account of a mother's love for her child. It is an account of how Joni Mitchell gave up her child for money, fame and cock
Aerial Telly will not be sexing Doctor Kate McCann
Amy, for the love of God eat some chips you loopy cunt
Apology for slavery
The big veiny cock arms of love are strangling Brad Pitt
Get stuffed you creeps - Aerial Telly is the best thing that ever happened to you and you know it
Handsome, talented and a sensational lay - but life is not all roses for Aerial Telly
Happy Christmas cock smokers
Having trouble with your long-turd relationshit? Relax, it's not just you.
It was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks
Kate McCann requests Aerial Telly phone number.
Ladies - time to ditch the borefriend and get with a real man
Let's get this straight - they drugged her, killed her, sat on her body for three weeks then dumped her in the ocean? Fuck you, Johnny Incompetentos...
Mea culpa - you a cunta
"Meet the parents" or "destroy what is left of her shattered self-esteem"
Never forgive, never forget, never for fun
Never mind that the case against them stinks like a hogwhore's cunt - just keep bullying the parents
No, Foxy Knoxy - Aerial Telly will not be representing your interests
She came again today
So, the girl you love has got a ginger borefriend
Stop your nonsense, ladies...Aerial Telly is single, sane and straight
Sympathy For The Devil
Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?
You're the only Aerial Telly reader whose girlfriend is safe from him
Your breath smells like a thousand miles of shit.
AERIAL TELLY'S GUIDE TO BETTING
200,000 undersexed schlubs have the weekend of their lives after following Aerial Telly's betting advice
Aerial Telly's bookie - rest in peace, loser
Aerial Telly shows a hell of a lot of class by not celebrating yet another night of betting glory
Aerial Telly wins crushing victory against forces of darkness - bookmaker on suicide watch
Big Brother betting. Brian at 1.83 - have you freaks lost your minds?
Joe Calzaghe is going to beat Mikkel Kessler
Listen up, fuckwads - Floyd Mayweather to beat Oscar De La Hoya on points at anything over 8/11 is the bet of the year
O'Neill at 4.5? Lay that motherfucker with everything you've got
OK, you Appalachian pissdrinkers get this - Winky Wright to beat Bernard Hopkins at evens is a phenomenal bet, the type that comes around once a century
Ricky Fatton CAN beat Floyd Mayweather. But the value is Ugly Boy Floyd at 1.57
Scandinavian betting giant's eyes water as they take a balls deep ass fucking from Aerial Telly
Yes, Aerial Telly puts his money where his miggedy mouth is
You'd have to be a total kiddy fiddler not to back Ricky Hatton against Jose Luis Castillo when Bet Direct are offering 1.62
TV REVIEWS (cont'd)
Pushing Daisies series premiere...
Richard and Judy
Rome Season One
Saxondale
The Secret Life of A Manic Depressive
The Secret Policemen's Ball
Seduction School: Size Doesn't Matter
Sex Addict
Seymour Butts
Shameless
Shameless Season 4
Shane
The Shield
The Shield - Season Five Finale
The Shield - Season 6
Skins
Smoking Room
The Sopranos Season 6
Space Cadets
The Spy Who Stole My Life
State of the TV Nation Address
Stepkids In Love
Studs of Suburbia
Supernanny
Surviving Disaster
Take That... for the Record
Talk to me
Ted Bundy - Natural Porn Killer
The Thick Of It
This Life +10
This World: Kidnap Cops
Too Ugly For Love
TV's Naughtiest Blunders
Unanimous
Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars Season Three Half-term Report
Veronica Mars Season Two
Veronica Mars Season Three Premiere
Veronica Mars Season Three finale
A Very Social Secretary
Weeds
Weeds Season 3
When Lineker Met Maradona
Wimbledon coverage
The Wire
The Wire, Season 4
The Wire Season 5 Premiere
World Cup coverage
World's Deadliest Gangs
X Factor 2005
X-Factor 2007
Zoo Magazine adverts
FILM REVIEWS
28 Weeks Later
American Gangster
Apocalypto
Atonement
The Bourne Ultimatum
Control
Dawn Of The Dead
The Departed
The Descent
Fahrenheit 9/11
Hard Candy
Lust, Caution
Notes On A Scandal
Once
Open Water
Pan's Labyrinth
Rocky Balboa
Saw
Super Size Me
United 93
When the Levees Broke
MISC REVIEWS
40 Pupils Suspended For Bullying
Amazon Review Scum
Aerial Telly forever - Birmingham arts scene scum never
Blowjob monologues and the like
Ellen MacArthur
Floyd Mayweather v Carlos Manuel Baldomir
An Illustrated History of Dis
Fooled By Randomness
Hip-hop
Listen up, douchebags: Larry Merchant KO1 murdering rapist hype merchant scum that constitute boxing's deal-making fight-avoiding turd elite
Morales v Barrera III
Music Sounds Better With You(tube)
NME cool list
Paralympics
Playlouder Reviews
Stan Collymore
The Streets
Vertigolf
We Expose Palace Security As A Bag Of Shite
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