The Bridge

The Bridge series 2 episode 2 review | How you like THEM apples?

Published by jamdog on 4th January, 2014.

 The Bridge series 2 episode 2 review

BBC Four

Previously on The Bridge: plague comes to town. The non-existent tension of the cliffhanger quickly dissipates when Martin and Saga get the all clear on their plague AIDS tests. Only two of the tanker turds remain and there’s more trouble coming. Dickless Svensson – the rat faced fuck with the blowtorch brother – injects a truck full of fruit with poison. Pear, apple, banana, kumquat, grape – all the fruits. People die and all anyone is asking is “why?” Well, apart from the people whose respiratory systems are being paralysed during their agonising deaths – they are asking “why me?”

You’re just an unfortunate gaggle of faceless marks my friends so don’t take your premature deaths personally. As to the bigger “why?” we get something of an early answer. A group calling themselves Friends of Faxborg stick up a gem of a viral video, 326,000 likes, explaining their Jeremy Beadle plague stunt. A man with a fox’s head (that will explain the fox from the tanker turds’ vision) doing the Bob Dylan Subterranean Homesick Blues cards thing with his pals Bunny, Pig and Rat. What does the Fox say? He says “319 people in Angola died of pneumonia” then “Pharmaceutical companies burned pirated medicine” followed by “The World Is Bigger Than Us” and other hippy communist bullshit.

The people whose respiratory systems are being paralysed during their agonising deaths – they are asking “why me?”

 “Pharmaceutical companies burned pirated medicine” followed by “The World Is Bigger Than Us” and other hippy communist bullshit.

Fucking hell it’s the Truth Terrorist all over again. Ecology, systemic inequality and dying babies is their beef. Mads Nielsen is the group’s handsome psycho ideologue leader. Coppers have him on the CCTV from the nightclub exiting with the tanker turds so he’s a marked man already. He seems to have a thing going with co-conspirator Mathilde – as hot as she is radical and that’s significantly.

There’s another droopy looking girl, Katerina, who is very troubled by the Friends of Faxborg’s position on killing people (essentially: we rikee!) But she’s told to STFU and get with the program. Dickless informs them that he’s out – Linus is his priority. A punch in the guts from Mads informs him that there’s no getting out. Linus will have to prepare his own herring this evening.

A punch in the guts from Mads informs him that there’s no getting out. Linus will have to prepare his own herring this evening

In the world of sex education Laura appears to be blackmailing Beate and the price is a pair of new boots. That’s not nice. The Danish have no word for nause which must make Beate incredibly frustrated but I guess that’s what happens when you start fucking your pupils. Stranger still Laura’s co-worker Julian has a photo of hot Mathilde on his desk. What on earth?

The Danish have no word for nause which must make Beate incredibly frustrated.

Whatever else is going on it’s clear that the Friends of Faxborg are far from finished. They hijack a lorry containing 5000 gallons of gas and a giant explosion is their intention. No wonder there’s an energy crisis.

“I acknowledge their attempts at being amusing” she says which is also the approach of the studio audience for Count Arthur Strong’s.

In working-on-yourself news Saga is still practising her fake laughter. “I acknowledge their attempts at being amusing” she says which coincidentally is also the approach of the studio audience for Count Arthur Strong .

The verdict: Strange fruit.

Marks out of 10: 8

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The Bridge series 2 episode 2
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