Fools will criticise a nuanced work of genius like Bo Selecta for supposedly being crude, all the time ignoring the fact that political satire is the basest comedy going. It operates on the cheapest, laziest, flimsiest premise around, knows no shame and has not the slightest intention of improving itself. All of this is compounded by the fact that its participants are convinced that they are performing life changing art, heroically upholding the traditions of Molière, Swift and Davro, making a real tangible difference to society.

"Bremner, Bird and Fortune... spilling its way on to your screens like molten lava oozing through the tectonic plates of Channel Four's labia majora."

And it produces the most horrendously slimy, smug TV imaginable. Watched by the kind of people who couldn't take their eyes off Balderdash And Piffle (and not for the only valid reason that lovely Victoria Coren was presenting), Bremner, Bird and Fortune is the most celebrated strain of this particular TV virus spilling its way on to your screens like molten lava oozing through the tectonic plates of Channel Four's labia majora.*

"If you ever find this funny I'll hunt you down, stomp you to death, sodomize your corpse, pull your spinal cord through your mouth and beat your floppy soggy carcass with it."

Bremner is one of the most self-regarding bastards on the face of the Earth. Few things in this life actually physically depress me (the cancellation of Deadwood, having the Aids, another terrible Prince album) but the sight of him doing his observational political humour will send me into Sylvia Plath country faster than a rocky marriage to Ted Hughes. If you ever find this funny, seriously, leave the site now and don't ever come back. If I find out who you are, I'll hunt you down, stomp you to death, sodomize your corpse, pull your spinal cord through your mouth and beat your floppy soggy carcass with it. Seriously. You are the motherless ass eating filth of the solar system - you'd encourage this comedy Kryptonite, this studentcore satire, this miserable, self-satisfied apology for entertainment?

"There's an implicit 'but seriously, folks...' in his material that really makes you want to travel back in time and honk up your own placenta."

Turd and Whoretune are accomplished comic performers in their own right and their improvised dialogues are OK if you like that type of thing (which I don't), but don't be under any illusions - this is Bremner's show. They are merely basking in the glare of his huge ego. No target is too easy, no opening too obvious. And yet he really believes his work is of huge import. There's an implicit "but seriously, folks..." in his material that really makes you want to travel back in time and honk up your own placenta.

"The basic form of his jokes is no different from Les Dawson gags just with mother-in-law replaced by Old Tony Blairs"

At times the fraud just reads lists of official statistics along the line of "Tony Blair's government sold £50 million worth of arms to Saudi Arabia this year." suffixed with some biting satire rejoinder like "Hey, THAT'S what I call an ethical foreign policy!". What the fuck is funny about that? Those braying asses in the studio audience will literally laugh at anything he says. Joseph Stalin had more critical audiences. What they can't get their heads around is that the basic form of his jokes is no different from Les Dawson gags just with mother-in-law replaced by Old Tony Blairs.

The subjects of political humour these days are totally interchangeable. His act consists of comedy Barnum statements, as applicable to Tony Blairs as they are to Genghis Khan and Joe Quimby. Like Bob Hope telling the same three golf jokes about the mayor of whichever town he's playing, Bremner and the other satire bores are simply taking part in a mechanically executed run-through of ancient comedy templates, as fatuous and shallow as an undergraduate cultural studies essay.

"Bremner has done more damage to the world than Hitler, Pol Pot and the final season of Ally McBeal combined."

Bremner says "I think that behind what we do there is the hope that somehow these people will learn from history". What, and never employ you again? Bremner has done more damage to the world than Hitler, Pol Pot and the final season of Ally McBeal combined. He is the motherfucking anti-Christ. Don't you "people" see that?

"Every moment he spends on this earth is a moment closer to our ultimate destruction and damnation. I really, really want to piss in his face."

I don't care how many Bafta nominations it picks up. This stinks. It isn't just deeply, obnoxiously unfunny - it is a corruption of the human spirit. There is something so foul, twisted and wrong about it, about him that you immediately know, just know he must be stopped at all costs. It's not about politics - it could be Mrs Thatch, Old Tony Blairs or the human form of fish in a barrel, George W Bush. None of that matters. What matters is that the debasement of humanity, Enlightenment and truth that Rory Bremner personifies. Every moment he spends on this earth is a moment closer to our ultimate destruction and damnation. I really, really want to piss in his face. That'll learn him.

The best thing about it: The moderately amusing if you like that type of thing (which I don't) conversations between Turd and Whoretune.

The worst thing about it: Where do I begin?

The verdict on Bremner, Bird and Fortune: Don't even trip.

Marks out of 10: 0

*this cross-bred mixed metaphor is brought to you by Wolfram And Hart Biogenetics Division

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