Big Brother

Big Brother 2009 – Tom walks

Published by jamdog on 26th July, 2013.

Big Brother 2009 - Tom walks review

Tom.  You know – that guy

Robert Cialdini, in his terrific book Influence, speaks of a disturbing statistic. “After a suicide has made front-page news, airplanes—private planes, corporate jets, airliners—begin falling out of the sky at an alarming rate.” Damn.  Even Elstree is not immune.  Just days after Hong Kong Whohe? Kenneth took the dishonourable route out of the Big Brother house, chartered surveyor Tom followed suit.  They’d both been in the house a matter of days and while Kenneth succumbed to Karly’s brutal trial by pill, Tom seemed to meekly bow out in some kind of copycat suicide.  How unspeakably lame.


“Just days after Hong Kong Whohe? Kenneth left the Big Brother house, Tom followed suit. While Kenneth succumbed to Karly’s brutal trial by pill, Tom seemed to meekly bow out in some kind of copycat suicide. How unspeakably lame.”

Kenneth is undoubtedly the greater loss.  Fantastically entertaining, he had that rare combination of confidence, stupidity and delusion that make for the great Big Brother hate figures.  His exit came briefly before he was to be voted out by the public anyway so it was a completely empty gesture.  The outcome was the same, he even got a Friday night interview where he was picked apart by Davina and her neutered wolves.  The only thing missing was the walk of shame from the house and the Elstree hate mob (like that counts for shit).

“‘It’s very, very boring’ said Tom ‘Honestly, I could never estimate how boring it is.’ Motherfucker, you want to try watching it.”

“I’m not a fame-hungry wannabe” said Tom Oliver during his final speech just three days after Kenneth’s exit. Then tell us what you want, Tom, what you really, really want?  Apparently, it’s a connection and something to do.”When you are bored and feeling you are not really connecting with any of the housemates your mind wanders a little bit. It’s very, very boring. Honestly, I could never estimate how boring it is.” Dude, you want to try watching it.

The bad news for Big Brother is that it broke up one of the more intriguing love triangles the show has thrown up: Siavash, Noirin and Tom.  Everybody loves Noirin despite her not really being that lovable.  As if to compensate, Big Brother are putting in the ex-borefriend she keeps saying how much she ruvs.  If you didn’t know better you’d swear they weren’t really interested in the housemates’ well-being and were just out to cause trouble.

“During his tearful diary room mea culpa, the putz looked like Kim Jong Il in Team America. I expected him to break into “I’m wonwry” at any moment.”

Imagine that.  Like if they sent a clearly unhinged housemate on a wild goose chase for his absent skank girlfriend’s contraceptive pills.  During his tearful diary room mea culpa, the putz looked like Kim Jong Il in Team America.  I expected him to break into “I’m wonwry” at any moment.

That’s all in the past now though.  The remainder of Big Brother will be spent deciding who gets to play with Noirin’s panties.  Get your tickets early.

 

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