Big Brother

Big Brother 2007 | Brian cannot lose

Published by jamdog on 1st August, 2007.

Big Brother 2007 Brian review

He cannot lose

Having shown his boxing ‘capping genius time and time again you probably think that it is Aerial Telly‘s strongest sector when it comes to betting. You would be more vastly mistaken than a man who thinks that Hilaire Belloc is still alive.1 For Aerial Telly’s true strength is Specials betting. That’s reality TV, Mercury Music Prize, Christmas number one, will Beckham go to America – Aerial Telly is all over that action, my friends. 2 He has already guaranteed himself a huge pay-off by favouring Brian and Chanelle in his mesmerising trading on the outright market on Betfair but now with rumours of extra housemates gathering credibility due to an ambiguous remark by Durrvina, Brian has drifted out to 1.83. This is the kind of price that you just can’t miss and I’m going to school your woeful I-wish-I-had-me-some-clothes asses as to why.

“Endemol want a black winner more than Ziggy secretly wants to put his cock in Charley. And that’s a lot.”

First off: Endemol want a black winner more than Ziggy secretly wants to put his cock in Charley. And that’s a lot. They were slap bang in the middle of a race shit storm the like of which they had never seen in the last Celebrity Big Brother and while that was still fresh in the memory they had to deal with the idiot suicide blonde racially abusing another housemate. At the best of times, Endemol is looking for novelty, something eye-catching and newsworthy. And the column inches and positive publicity they will get with the first black owner of Big Brother, pegged on the two controversies, is simply priceless.

“1.83 implies a 54.6% chance of winning. Motherfucker, that’s crazy talk. You will be getting spectacular value. They’re acting like it’s a coin toss. In fact, it’s a turkey shoot.”

You only have to look at their edits to see where their intentions lie. Every one of Brian’s special moments in the diary room is shown. His closest competitor Liam mysteriously disappears from the highlights shows. Brian gets special eye-catching tasks. When Big Brother is “depressed” about his birthday coming up, he chooses Brian to confide in. They are grooming him like Jonathan King, blood.

Add to this that is already way ahead in the polls, super popular on the forums, consistently providing the producers with material for them to lovingly include in each highlights show that you’ve got one of the racing certainties of the year. Look around at the remaining housemates and ask yourself who can possibly compete with him? 1.83 implies a 54.6% chance of winning. Motherfucker, that’s crazy talk. He wins this 9 times out of 10. You will be getting spectacular value. They’re acting like it’s a coin toss. In fact, it’s a turkey shoot.

Trust Aerial Telly. Aerial Telly is never wrong. You know you want to. You can thank him later. He will not be denied.

1 Thanks to Fry and Laurie
2 You are not Aerial Telly’s friends

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